ESPACIO DE TAMY

Jordan Morrow is a 16-year-old boy attending his local public high school.  He’s a normal boy, maybe like the sort of boy you encounter in your school life.  He gets average grades, has a lot of friends, and swims for the school swim team.  His mother and father divorced when he was 10.  He’s always been an angry, bitter sort of person, but he was never as bitter as in his sophomore year.  He began to be unable to control his growing attraction to his own gender.  This upset him.  He was already different from everyone, he often thought.  Why did he need another reason for people to alienate him?  None of his friends knew...He was scared to tell them.  Was there no one who would see through his mask and accept him?  Was there no one who would attempt to comfort him and bring him to terms with himself?
Benny Rowan is quite the opposite, and in a sense, the very same as our friend Jordan.  Benny is a freshman in the same high school as Jordan.  He plays kickball obsessively and is on the school team.  He is an intelligent, cheerful, and physically healthy teenager.  Being a bit naive, rarely anything can upset him.  The fact that he continually notices himself looking over the bodies of his male classmates only confuses him slightly.  It hasn’t yet occurred to him that he might just be attracted to boys.  Eventually he’ll have to realize it, right?  
This is the story of how these two teenagers’ circumstances brought them together.  This is the story of each boy helping the other to acceptance and to comfort.  

“Damn...” Jordan silently swore to himself as he snapped his head forward.  He had been unintentionally staring at one of his teammate’s chests.  He blushed lightly and frowned.  He then sighed.  Was there really any point stopping it?  No matter how willful he was to be straight and to ogle girls like all his male friends, he just couldn’t.  He liked guys.
Jordan lifted himself out of the pool, dripping all over the concrete pavement surrounding the public pool.  He grabbed a towel and dried himself off, mentally cursing himself.
“Hey, Jordan!” a cheerful voice called.
“Oh great...” Jordan whispered to himself as he recognized the voice to be that of his only female friend Beatrice.  It wasn’t that Jordan disliked Beatrice...it was just that lately, she had been showing signs of being attracted to Jordan in a more-than-friendly way.  He knew he wasn’t attracted to her or any girl for that matter, and he was afraid of hurting her.  It was already bad enough that he thought she would judge him simply for being gay.  Now he had to break her heart, too?
“That was a great lap...” Beatrice said when she had arrived at Jordan’s side.
“Thanks...” Jordan said, a note of nonchalance in his voice.
“I was thinking of trying out for the swim team next year...Think I have a shot?”
“Sure.  You’ve got the arms for it.”
Lovely, now he was flattering her.  He didn’t want to make her think he liked her...It would make the blow that much harder.  However, he also didn’t want to seem uninterested in what she had to say.  She was his friend...
“Really?” She answered, excitedly, “Thanks!  I hope I can make it.  I’ll probably come here and practice during the off-season so I can be ready.”
“That’s a good idea.  Go for it.”
“And...”
Uh oh.  She looked a little nervous...
“Do you think maybe you could come with me sometimes?  And show me some things?  It could be fun...Just the two of us.” Beatrice innocently smiled at him.  Then, seeing that she made Jordan uncomfortable, she quickly added, “Well, if you want, you could bring some of your teammates...I mean, the more the merrier, right?  And getting tips from two people is better than getting tips from one...I guess...”
“Umm...it’d be cool.  We could get together.” Jordan calmly added, a little ashamed of himself for leading her on this way.
“Great!”
Leading or not, Beatrice was happy.  She hugged him tightly around the neck quickly and then let him go.
“Well...” she began, “I guess I’ll go.  See you tomorrow!”
“Bye.”
With that, Beatrice was off on her way again, walking home from school.  Jordan pulled a shirt over his head and decided to take the bus home in his swimming trunks.

The next morning, Benny was running late from geometry class.  He had stayed to talk with the teacher about a grade.  It wasn’t a big deal as the teacher had given him a late pass, but he didn’t want to be too late for his next class: gym.  It was his favorite class of the day, especially when they played kickball.  Benny ran blindly down the hallway, his mind tunnel-visioned on the thrill of the game that he loved so much.  He sharply turned a corner...
WHAM.
Benny flew backwards and Jordan cried out, surprised.  
“Ahh!!  Oww...” Benny sat up and rubbed his forehead where it had hit the taller boy’s chin.
“Are you ok!?” Jordan stumbled over to him, blushing a little, and helped him stand.  
“I...I’m fine!  Thanks...umm...Sorry I wasn’t watching where I was going!” Benny apologized, still rubbing his forehead.
Jordan mentally cursed himself as he never had before.  He thought Benny was cute.  No.  Downright adorable.  Irresistable.  His face was cheerful and carefree, his chest was slightly muscled, he was thin, his—Oh no.  Jordan moved the history book he was carrying inconspicuously in front of the bulge in his jeans.  He was furiously red in the face.
Benny stared innocently at him, no idea what had just gone on.  But he felt a twinge of admiration for the taller boy in front of him.  He wasn’t sure why, but he liked it.  Kickball left his mind for a moment.
“My name’s Benny.” He said happily.
“Uh...umm...J-Jordan.” Jordan stumbled out uncomfortably, hoping to God the young one hadn’t noticed his situation.
“Umm...are you hurt?” Benny asked, his voice concerned.
“Uh...n-no.  Don’t worry about it...”
“But...you look flustered.  Are you sure I didn’t hurt you?”
Jordan sort of laughed at the thought that the petit Benny could have hurt his taller, stronger, and tougher body.  He shook the thought out of his head, deciding to make a break for it.
“You didn’t...don’t worry.  Umm...you can...go ahead to class.  You’re already late...” Jordan said, avoiding eye contact.
“Oh, it’s ok!” Benny said, happily flashing his pass, “I’ve got a late pass.  Although...I like gym a lot.  We’re playing kickball!  I’m on the team, so I like it a lot.”
“Well, then you should go ahead to gym, then...Hey, have fun, Benny!” Jordan smiled the best he could, which wasn’t very good.  Jordan didn’t smile much.  
But Benny appreciated it all the same.  A light fluster crossed his face as he smiled back. “Ok...bye bye!”
They both continued on their separate ways, Benny to gym and Jordan to history.  Jordan took the history book away.  He was calmer now, thank God.  No need to hide anymore...“Was he blushing...?” he thought, rather hopefully.
Upon arriving to gym class, Benny eagerly got changed into his gym outfit and successfully joined the game of kickball, the thought of his new sophomore friend still lingering in his mind.  He hoped he’d get to see him again.
Jordan sat down in his history class, apologizing somewhat angrily for being late and trying to explain why, making some things up as he went along.  When the teacher had finally left him alone, he resumed taking notes.  These notes became rather bland, so he spiced them up by doodling Benny’s name a few times...He had given up cursing himself by now.  It was no use.  After laying eyes on Benny, all hope of being a girl-ogling heterosexual was lost in the mists.  

The bell rang to end the day.  Jordan grabbed his book bag and practically ran out the door.  Much like Benny in their earlier run-in, his mind was focused on one thing—going home.  Jordan was your typical “get me out of here” kind of student.  He did enough so that he didn’t fail, but he didn’t exactly leap for joy during class.  Running blindly, you’d think he’d know what was about to happen or at least be reminded of what had happened before...And sure enough...
WHAM.
“Benny!!” Jordan yelled, running over to the beautiful boy he had once again knocked over unintentionally.
“Owwwiiie....” Benny said, gladly taking the hand that Jordan had shyly offered him.  “Jordan?”
“Yeah...you ok?” Jordan asked, genuinely concerned, while helping Benny stand.
“Uh huh.” Benny said, smiling as he regained composure. “Wow, we keep running into each other.  First I hit you, and then you hit me...I guess we’re even!”
“Heh...oh, yeah...”
“I didn’t get a chance to ask you before because we were late for class, but...could I have your phone number?”
Jordan blinked, unsure whether he was actually living this moment or whether he was already sitting on his bus, daydreaming... “You want my phone number?”
Benny blushed a little. “Well...I don’t know why, really.  I just have this feeling...ummm...It’s tough to explain.  You know?  Sometimes when you just....have a feeling?  Well, I have a feeling.  Like I might need to talk to you sometime.  Or maybe I just might want to for fun.  Or...something.  Am I making sense?” Benny blushed deeper, finally looking up at Jordan’s face.
Jordan laughed a little.  “No...but...here....” Jordan blushed deeply as he reached into Benny’s right pants pocket and pulled out the cell phone that was partially sticking out of it.  He programmed his number into it. “There...now...call me whenever you feel like it, ok?” His heart leapt, hoping Benny would call him forever.
Benny smiled, taking his cell phone back. “Thanks!  I will!” Benny’s heart also leapt.  What was this?  It wasn’t quite the same feeling as making a new friend that you really enjoy being around.  It was kind of like the feeling some people got when the girl they thought was pretty smiled at them or waved to them.  Except Jordan was a boy...
“Well, my bus is waiting for me...See ya!” Jordan bolted off toward his bus, trying to hide the fact that he was letting so much emotion show through.  Blushing!  What kind of guy blushes?  ...The kind of guy who is just starting to like being attracted to boys.  Boys like Benny.
“Bye!!” Benny waved furiously and also ran to his bus.  

Jordan lay awake in his bed.  He wasn’t tired...in fact, he was still feeling the happiness that had flooded him when Benny had gotten his phone number.  He rarely ever felt this happy, especially when it came from liking a boy.  Was he actually beginning to accept it?  It was becoming a part of his lifestyle now.  There was no way out...
Suddenly, a beeping melody sounded from Jordan’s cell phone on his nightstand.  His heart jolted excitedly as he picked it up.
“Hello?” Jordan answered, trying not to sound too happy.
“Hey, Jordan!  Are you at home?  Should I call your home phone?”
It was Beatrice.  Jordan’s heart sank.  He felt guilty feeling disappointed, but...he could talk to Beatrice anytime.  But he felt like if Benny didn’t call soon, Benny would disappear forever.  Jordan wished he’d gotten Benny’s number, too...
“Uhh...nah, it’s ok.  I can talk on my cell.” Jordan answered, trying this time not to sound disappointed.
“Ok.  Umm...well, I was wondering if you could bring your chemistry notes tomorrow.  Remember that day I was absent and you learned about acids and bases?  I still don’t get it...”
Jordan was relieved she hadn’t wanted to ask him something romantic.  He didn’t feel like breaking her heart right now.  Or telling anyone that he was obsessed with Benny. “Sure!  I’ll come to your homeroom before the bell rings tomorrow morning and give them to you.”
“Ok...thanks a bunch!  I’ll see you tomorrow!”
“Bye, Bea.”
“Bye!”
He hung up his cell phone.  It was 9:30.  Benny probably wasn’t going to call him...He had said that he wanted Jordan’s phone number incase he ever needed or wanted to talk to him, right?  So the fact that he wasn’t calling could mean that Benny was happy with things and had no scruples to be worked out.  That was a good thing, Benny being happy.  Jordan decided it was time to stop waiting and get some sleep.  If he missed the bus the next morning, he wouldn’t be able to give Beatrice his notes.  He rolled over on his side and slept.

Benny walked through the halls of the school the next morning, happily as usual.  He noticed Jordan waiting outside of a classroom.  He contemplated whether to run into him just for fun, but he decided against it.
“Good morning, Jordan!”
Jordan snapped his head toward Benny, alarmed.  “Benny!!  H-Hey!” Jordan said, trying not to sound too happy to see him.
They stared at the ground, not sure what to say.  Each of them waited for the other to break the silence.
“So, uh...” Jordan began, “How’s that kickball going?”
“Great!  We’ve got a game after school today!”
“Oh...really?  I wouldn’t mind coming to watch...” Jordan thought he was being too obvious, but Benny was happy to hear that his new friend wanted to watch him play kickball.  He was secretly hoping he would.
“That would be great!!” Benny said, excitedly throwing his arms around the alarmed sophomore.  
Jordan was in heaven, but he didn’t want to show everyone that he loved nothing more than little God-boys touching him.
Benny squeezed him and finally let him go.  Benny was an excitable kid, and everyone already knew he was generally cheery.  But he didn’t normally squeeze people like that.  Benny got that confused feeling he would sometimes get when he unknowingly looked at a boy’s chest in the locker room.  He blushed deeply, seeing as Jordan was doing the same.
Beatrice picked this very inappropriate time to arrive at her homeroom.
“Hey, Jordan!  Hi...” She shyly looked at Benny.
“Benny.” Jordan said, “Beatrice, this is Benny.  Benny...this is my friend Beatrice.” He tried to remain calm as he introduced them.  
“Hi, Benny!” Beatrice said, no longer shy, now that she knew what to call the stranger.  
“Here are your notes...” Jordan said, pulling a stack of papers out of his backpack.
Beatrice giggled. “Wow, organization.  Ever heard of folders?”
“Hardy har har...” Jordan smiled at her and thrust the papers into her chest.
She grabbed them. “Well, the bell’s about to ring.  You two had better get to your homerooms.  Thanks again, Jordan!  Nice meeting you, Benny!” She disappeared into the room.
Jordan sighed, relieved.  She hadn’t noticed their awkward situation or asked any questions of any kind.  She didn’t even seem suspicious...But was this really a good thing?  The less she was suspicious of to begin with, the more it would come as a shock to her when she finally learned the truth.  Jordan was too busy worrying about Beatrice to notice that Benny was staring at him, an expression not like his usual cheerful one pasted on his face.  It was almost longing, and a little scared.
“Jordan...I’m glad I met you.” Benny said, smiling slightly.
Jordan looked up at him, now noticing he was a little troubled. “Oh...yeah!  I’m glad I ran into you...and you ran into me.”
Benny smiled genuinely this time.  He felt better now that Jordan didn’t think he was weird for hugging him like that.  Benny was glad Jordan still liked him. “I’ll see you later at the game.  Then, I’ll call you tonight, ok?”
Jordan’s heart jumped in his chest.  Confirmation!  Benny flat-out told him he was going to call! “Ok...talk to you later, then!” Jordan wore a Benny-like expression as he ran to his homeroom, the bell now ringing to start the day.

It was that time of the day again!  Benny was going to gym.  He hoped they’d play kickball again today so that he could get some practice in before that afternoon’s game.  He arrived in the locker room, but the atmosphere was not cheerful like it normally was...He wondered what was wrong...Why were people staring?  Why were people whispering?  He didn’t like this...
A few boys in his locker section hurriedly pulled shirts over their heads and walked into the gym without a word to Benny.  Only a few suspicious glances.  Benny was beginning to get upset.  Even the boys that were normally friendly toward him were acting strangely.  
“Faggot.” One of the other boys said, shoving Benny into the gym lockers.
“Ow!!” Benny started to cry.  One of the dials on the locker had jabbed him in the back, but that didn’t hurt half as much as being called...what had he called him?
“Stay away from us, you freak!” another boy said, walking with the first boy into the gym.
“But...why...” Benny tried to get out, but he could barely speak.  Benny was nothing but nice to these people...They were his teammates, his friends...  Faggot...freak?  For once in his life, Benny didn’t want to go into the gym.  He didn’t want to get into his gym suit.  He didn’t want to play.  He didn’t want to exist.  He wished he could disappear for awhile, and maybe come back as someone that no one thought was a faggot or a freak.  He just sat on the bench and hoped none of the teachers would notice he was missing from the game.
But it was hard to miss Benny.  He was easily the best player, and everyone was used to his cheerful atmosphere and good sportsmanship.  It was easy to notice that none of those things were present.  
Sure enough, Benny’s assistant gym teacher, Mr. Duff, walked into the locker room.  Seeing that Benny was in shambles, he decided not to reprimand him.  He attempted to talk to the boy.
“Benny...?  Is there something the matter?”
Well, duh.  Benny merely shook his head ‘no’. Yeah right.
“Benny, did someone say something to you?  I heard some commotion before...”
“It’s nothing...”
“You can tell me.  In fact, you should tell me.  This way, I can stop it from happening again.  To you or to anyone.  Now...what happened?”
“Joe...and Lou...they said...I was a faggot.  They told me to stay away from them...They called me a freak...”
Mr. Duff just sat silently and let this sink in.
“Well,” he began, “that was uncalled for, obviously.  All year I’ve been observing you kids during your gym period, and never once have I seen you do even a small act of spite toward any of these kids.  I was under the impression Joe and Lou were your friends.”
“So was I...” Benny said, pathetically, more tears flowing.
“Can you think of any reason why they might have behaved this way toward you?”
“You just said that I didn’t do anything...”
“That’s...I mean...What I meant was...did they hear a rumor about you?  Or maybe they heard you say something?  Or maybe they misinterpreted something you did?  Teenaged boys tend to jump to conclusions.”
Benny looked up from crying into his knees.  He merely stared at the wall for a good seven minutes until finally realizing what was happening to him.
“They called me a faggot...” He said, quietly, more to himself than to Mr. Duff.
“I know, Benny, I—”
“...because I am one.”
Mr. Duff gave Benny a pitiful look. “Now, Benny, you shouldn’t believe what they say...You are who you are.  You can’t let yourself think you’re gay simply because—”
“But I am...I like guys.  I know I look at them sometimes...the boys in the locker room.  Sometimes I notice I’m doing it, but other times I must not.  They’re probably scared...It confused me before, but now I know why.  Mr. Duff...is it wrong to be gay?”
“Well...Benny...many different people have many different ideas about this subject...but right or wrong, you can’t help what you are.  And neither can anyone else.”
“I don’t think it’s wrong...If it’s something that can’t be changed, why don’t they just deal with it?”
“Because...they’re people.  People are different.  They think differently.  Some boys, like you, I’d imagine, are raised to think that homosexuality is simply a lifestyle that some people live.  They believe that everyone has their own separate ways of living and that being gay is only a small part of it.  Other people...might have been raised with the belief that gay people are something to be afraid of.  It all depends on who you’re dealing with...Now, as for your buddies Joe and Lou...They may eventually realize that who you are can’t be changed and just accept you.  But, Benny...believe me, it doesn’t get any easier.  People might turn their backs on you because of the beliefs they were raised with.  Just remember, though, that it’s no fault of yours.  And just like they can’t change your mind about liking boys, you can’t change their mind about liking you.”
Benny took a minute to let this sink in... “Thanks, Mr. Duff...I think I feel better now.”  
“The period’s almost over...you don’t have to go out there now if you don’t want to.  I won’t take off your participation grade because this wasn’t exactly your fault.  Just do yourself a favor and don’t run away from this, ok?  I know it hurts, but you’re going to have to face this.  And your participation grade...we’ll say you made it up at the game this afternoon, ok?” He winked at Benny.
Benny smiled. “Yeah...I’ll have fun at the game.  Jordan’s coming to watch me...”
Mr. Duff laughed, not really knowing whom “Jordan” was, but assuming that he was someone who made Benny very happy.  He was just glad to see Benny returning to his normal, cheerful self.  
The bell rang, and the boys all came into the locker room, talking about the kickball game that went on.  Some of them gave Benny the same bitter look they had given him before, but some of them looked at him with concerned expressions.  Mr. Duff ushered them in, making sure that none of them had a chance to harass Benny again.  Benny smiled, getting up to leave the locker room.
“Thanks, Mr. Duff...”
“Hey...anytime, Ben.  Take care of yourself.”
“I will.”
Benny walked into the hallway and to his next class, receiving occasional strange looks from people whispering to each other around him.  He tried like hell not to let it bother him...

“Yesss!” Jordan exclaimed when the bell to end twelfth period had rung.  This didn’t strike anyone as strange, as Jordan was always happy when the school day was over.  Except today, he was happy about going to watch the amazing Benny at his kickball game.  
Jordan walked out of the school and down to the baseball field where the kickball game would take place.  The home team was already on the field practicing.  He looked around for Benny...There he was, at third base.  Jordan picked the bleacher that would allow the best view of Benny and sat on it.  He watched the practice for awhile.  Then, the team walked over to the dugout and drank out of their water bottles.  Benny grabbed his bottle and made his way over to Jordan.
“Hey, Ben!” Jordan said, watching Benny take a swig from his bottle.
“Hi!  How’s it look out there?”
“Nice...I don’t know how the other team plays, but it looks like you guys are in complete harmony.  How’re you feeling?”
Benny wasn’t like Jordan.  He didn’t hide his sadness when he felt it.  He had told Mr. Duff he was feeling better before.  He had thought he was feeling better himself.  But the feeling had only gotten worse as he walked through the halls.  The more he tried not to let it upset him, the more it did.  He sat down next to Jordan.
“Benny...?” Jordan was concerned.  He had only known Benny two days, but he already knew there was something wrong with a non-cheerful Benny.
“Jordan...” Benny let some tears fall as he leaned on Jordan’s shoulder.
“Benny...what happened?”
Benny took his head off of Jordan’s shoulder and wiped his eyes.
“I’ll have to call you after I get home from the game...It looks like the water break is over...”
“Oh...all right.  Hey, whatever’s bothering you, just forget about it and have fun out there.  I mean...that’s what sports are for, right?  Having fun and forgetting about your problems...?”
Benny smiled at him and nodded.  He ran back over to third base and resumed practice.

The game had gone smoothly.  Benny was his usual self.  It seemed as though he had taken Jordan’s and Mr. Duff’s advice and let himself be himself for awhile.  Jordan had been right in thinking that they would easily take the other team.  Jordan had also enjoyed watching the game.  He wasn’t much interested in kickball, but watching Benny, beautiful, innocent, friendly, happy Benny, made Jordan happier than he ever thought he could be.
Benny joined Jordan after the game, and they talked for awhile, getting to know each other a little better.  Neither of them mentioned what had been wrong with Benny before...they both knew that they would talk it over on the phone.  
Knowing that they would talk later, they said goodbye to each other and got their rides home, Benny with his mother and Jordan with the late bus.

Benny’s mother had gone out grocery shopping, and his older brother had gone out with friends like he normally did on a Friday night.  Benny rested on his bed, a bit exhausted from the game and from walking around with Jordan after it.  But he was content...If he hadn’t had that traumatic locker room experience, this day would have been the best day of Benny’s life.  Jordan was probably worried about what had happened...Benny decided to call him.

Jordan picked up the phone in his room (he had given Benny his home phone number earlier).
“Hello?” he said.
“Hiya!” Benny said happily.
“Benny!” Jordan was happy that it had turned out to be Benny on the phone this time.
“Hee...yeah.  So...I bet you’re wondering what happened to me before the game.” Benny was speaking rather calmly and happily for a boy who was about to relive a traumatizing experience.
“Uhh...yeah.  I mean, if you still want to talk about it...”
“I do.  I need to...umm...” He wondered if Jordan would judge him.  Mr. Duff had mentioned that there were generally two kinds of people when it came to homosexuality.  There were people who accepted it, and people who didn’t.  Jordan didn’t seem like the kind of guy who didn’t...but neither did Joe or Lou...Benny trusted Jordan to be a better person, anyway and continued his story.  He told Jordan all about every feeling he had, everything that had happened from the moment he walked into the locker room to the moment he left Mr. Duff to venture the bitter hallways.  
Jordan was speechless.
Benny, already letting a few tears flow freely, began to cry harder. “Jordan...I don’t know what to do...I think...I think I’m gay!  I like boys...I don’t like girls...I’m different from everyone...”
Jordan’s heart broke, painfully, listening to the anguished cries of the one he was slowly beginning to fall in love with.  He wished he had talked to Benny about this before...He wished he would have been there in person to hold him while he struggled with his emotions, to make him calm when he was upset, to wipe the tears away from his face and tell him everything was going to be ok...
“Hang in there, Benny...” Jordan said, quietly, nearing tears himself.
“Jordan...do you...think I’m weird...?”
“Of course I don’t!!!” Jordan yelled, almost angrily. “I think you’re—”
Benny listened.  Jordan blushed, wondering whether he was stupid for saying this...
“...amazing...”
Benny’s heart fluttered, and he stopped crying.  He stopped feeling bad about himself.  He stopped feeling bad at all.  Had Jordan just called him amazing?  What did that mean?
“Benny...” Jordan began again, trying to clarify his feelings. “You don’t have to worry about being different...you’re not alone.  I...I’m the same as you.  I don’t know if this helps any, but...I like boys, too.  In fact...I joked myself into thinking I could change my sexuality.  And then you came along...and I realized that I didn’t need to change a thing.  It made me happy to be...to be attracted to you.”
Benny could hardly speak.  He thought Jordan would either accept him or not accept him...and now Jordan was telling him that he had feelings for him?  
“Jordan...I think I feel that way, too.  About...you.  Hearing you say those things puts me so much at ease...thank you...”
Jordan wanted so much to give Benny a big kiss right there, but of course that wasn’t possible.
“I’m glad I could help...”
They knew they had finished discussing and felt they had said everything they wanted to say, but they didn’t want to leave each other, even if they were only connected by telephone.  So, they sat in silence, simply listening to each other breathe.
When they finally decided to hang up, Benny was feeling even happier than he had felt before he had called Jordan.

The next morning, Jordan called Benny to see if he would like to come hang out at the public pool where Jordan and the swim team would be practicing.  He assured Benny that there would be plenty of hot, wet, shirtless boys there.  Benny assured him that he was the only hot, wet, shirtless boy he cared about.
When Benny arrived, Jordan was on the diving board.  Benny stood behind the fence to watch.  Jordan dove with amazing form and barely made a splash as he entered the water.  Benny was proud to love him.  He walked onto the pavement and sat down at the edge of the pool.  He wore his swimming trunks and a t-shirt.  Some other members of the swim team gawked at him, wondering who he was, but paid him no mind.
Jordan swam over to where he sat.
“Benny, you made it!”
“Yeah...that was a great dive...” Benny blushed deeply, loving every inch of Jordan's bare chest.
“Thanks...” Jordan said, pushing his wet hair out of his face.  He lifted himself out of the pool and sat next to Benny.
The coach walked over to the idle team and began to talk, taking no mind to Benny whom sat shyly by Jordan’s side, feeling a little out of place.  The coach gave some orders to several teammates who then went to bring out towels, water bottles, and other things that they would need for practice.  Jordan carefully avoided being elected for one of these jobs and stole away with Benny while everyone else set up.
Benny excitedly giggled when Jordan finally pulled him behind a rather tall bush behind the fence.  Benny eagerly stared up at Jordan, blushing, smiling, and waiting.
Jordan dismissed all his nerves and kissed Benny the way he had wanted to so much during their conversation over the phone the previous night...
Benny lovingly accepted his lips and deepened the kiss.
Jordan placed his hands on Benny’s cheeks.  Benny held Jordan around the waist...
A stifled squeak came from near by...
The boys quickly broke apart and looked around.
“Ah...” Benny said, spotting the source of the shocked noise.
“Beatrice!” Jordan said, running after Beatrice who was now in tears of shock as she ran toward the pool.
Benny worriedly followed them.
Jordan finally caught up to Beatrice and grabbed her wrist.  She angrily freed herself from him, but she didn’t run.  She merely stared at him, a heartbroken expression on her innocent face.
“Why...”
“Beatrice, look...I have something I need to explain to you...” Jordan spoke calmly to his friend.
“Why didn’t you tell me...”
“It’s not that easy!  Don’t you think I worried about it?  Everytime you showed yourself, I thought about how I was going to tell you!”
“But why did you pretend...”
“I’m sorry if I made it seem like we had something going, but...I was trying not to break your heart, and trying not to give myself away at the same time!  I guess it didn’t work...in the end...”
“No...”
“Beatrice, I don’t know what I can do...”
“There’s nothing you can do...You can’t help how you feel, and you can’t help how I feel.  You can’t force yourself to like me.  And you can’t force me not to like you...so what’s the use in even trying to—”
“I’m not going to let you just cry over this!  Let’s talk...”
“But what about practice?”
“The coach probably won’t even realize I’m gone...I can skip it this once...”
“What about...” she looked over at Benny who was looking very worried for the both of them.
“Benny won’t mind...will you?” Jordan looked to Benny for approval.
Benny shook his head.  He didn’t mind.
“Jordan...I’ve had this silly little crush on you for awhile, now.  I figured you knew...I thought you were just shy or playing hard to get...I can’t believe I didn’t see it before.  How could I fool myself like that?” Beatrice said, her head in her hands.
“We were both fooling ourselves...Before...well, before I met Benny, I had myself believing that if I worked at it, I could make myself like girls.  But...like you said.”
“There’s nothing we can do about the way we feel...”
“It’s true...” Benny said darkly, “Mr. Duff told me.  And Jordan, you told me, too...There’s no way we can control who we like and don’t like.”
Beatrice smiled at Benny.  Benny smiled back, very glad that she wasn’t angry with him.
“Yes...Benny, you and Jordan do make a nice pair...As for my feelings...I suppose I’ll just have to get over them, won’t I?”
Jordan hugged her.  She tried to continue her natural facade of acceptance, but...he was warm against her.  She could feel how much he cared for her.  But...it wasn’t the kind of caring she had for Jordan.  It wasn’t the kind of caring he felt for Benny...she cried silently in his arms.

As time passed, Benny and Jordan fell more and more in love with each other.  Jordan and Beatrice became closer friends than they ever thought they would be.  Beatrice was still scarred, but she tried to live her life day by day, just like she used to before she lost her naivete about Jordan.  The three of them had gotten to be a pretty happy little group.
People still annoyed Benny, but Jordan was there to protect him.  People annoyed Jordan, but he was so safely out of the closet, that he didn’t care what people said.  Well, DUH, he’s a faggot.  He’s got his arm around a beautiful freshman boy all the time...what else could he be?  Beatrice also stood up quite strongly for the both of them.  She balanced out her pain with virtue.  

It was a warm August day and Benny, Beatrice, and Jordan all sat in the middle of Jordan’s living room floor.  They were playing a game of cards.  
“Got any sixes?” Jordan asked the boy who had brought him to terms with himself.
“Go fish.” Benny answered triumphantly to the one whom had saved him from the pain of being shunned by society.
“I hear a car outside...” Beatrice said to the two boys who had slowly allowed themselves into her heart as friends, even after the heartache they had both caused, one more than the other.
There was a knock at the door and Jordan went to answer it.
“Hey, is Benny ready to go?”
It was Benny’s 18-year-old brother Colin coming to pick him up.
“Yeah...” Jordan said, motioning for Benny to come to the door.
Benny and Beatrice both met Jordan and Colin at the door.
“Hey, squirt, you have fun with your boyfriend?” Colin said, jokingly ruffling Benny’s hair.
Benny blushed, “Yeah, yeah...”
Beatrice smiled sweetly at Colin.  Colin returned the favor.  Beatrice felt herself redden...
Benny glared at his brother, making it clear that he didn’t want Colin watching while he said goodbye to Jordan.
Colin laughed and pulled Beatrice outside, both of their backs to Benny and Jordan, allowing them a quick kiss and a goodbye.
Beatrice and Jordan said goodbye to both of them, and they drove off in Colin’s car.
“Wow...” Beatrice said, sitting on the stoop outside Jordan’s front door. “Colin is so cool to be so accepting of his little brother...”
“Yeah...” Jordan agreed.
They let the cool, refreshing breeze blow by them in silence.
“Hey...” Jordan started.
“Hm?”
“Colin is cool...A lot cooler than me, in fact.  A girl could really fall for that kind of guy, yeah?” Jordan smiled slyly at Beatrice.
Beatrice caught the hint and smiled back, blushing a little.
“Yeah...”